Evan's Prov Blog

Confusion

2011-10-04T23:39:00.000-07:00

There are a lot of things that confuse me. I find myself wondering about my future often. Who will be in it? Where will I be? So many questions that I cannot answer easily. There are things that I know I want, but is what I want the same as what I need in my life? I am hopeful for the future, and I think I will figure it all out sooner than later, but clarity would be a nice thing to have in this very moment.

Waiting

2011-07-31T18:54:00.000-07:00

Ever feel like your patience has completely run out? That is where I am currently at right now. I am starting to feel like I want certain things to start happening right now. I've prayed for it longer than I can remember. I would just like to know why I am still waiting.

Life and its Uncertainties

2011-02-12T23:29:00.000-08:00

It seems that the farther I go along in my life, the more complicated it can become. I have recently been listening to the soundtrack for one of my favorite childhood movies, the Land Before Time. Listening to it fills me with nostalgia, and a longing for simpler things. Not that I don't enjoy my life. I really don't have any reason to. However, sometimes things just become more difficult than they need be. Like when you believe that things are beginning to go smoothly between you and another person, only to hear from someone else that that person actually has a problem with you, and rather than coming and talking about it with you, they are complaining about you behind your back (pause for breath). It's just frustrating when that happens. Like there isn't enough stuff to worry about already. Lately there has just been a myriad of emotions going around in me. Elated one day, discouraged the next. Oh the trials and tribulations of a college student! I both look forward to, and dread the day that the semester ends. I won't be sad to leave behind the homework and studying for a while, but I will definitely miss my friends. I have also found myself wondering about where and what I'll be doing here for my final year. I am currently planning on reapplying for the R.A. position, but I'm also wondering what I should do if I do not get the position again. I really do believe that God wants me to serve on student leadership here at Prov in some sort of capacity. I've given Stuco some thought. I've also wondered if I should even live in dorm next year, or if I should find an apartment. Then I read James 4:13-17, and I feel like I am doing this all wrong. I really need to pray more about the future of my life, and to ask God to lead me where I am meant to be, rather than saying "God this is where I'm going, got it?" It just doesn't work that way. I've learned that there is a difference between what I want to happen, what I expect to happen, and what does happen. So I'll try my best to leave it up to God and is perfect will.

Time Keeps Moving

2011-01-12T22:42:00.000-08:00

Been a while since I did a blogpost. Hard to believe that I am past the halfway point in my time at Providence College. I really do like this place. I'll miss it when I am done here. Got to say that I do not really have any great love for the guys dorm right now. This place just seems to be falling apart. It makes me kind of annoyed that nothing is really being done to fix up the place either. The dorm wing that they closed down to repair hasn't had anything done in it so far, which is puzzling. Meanwhile, the school is diverting all that nice funding that could make students living quarters so much better into must have projects like: a windmill, fences around the sitting area in front of the Bookstore. While these things are great to have on campus, and I really do think that they are useful, I do believe that there should be some priority given to the spaces that students are living in. We are paying to stay in this dorm, and I think that it is only fair that we are given a place to live that is up to the standards of all the other dorms. I know that the excuse that it's a guys dorm so it will be rundown will be used, but come on, we aren't rioting here. Of course it's going to have wear and tear, but it would be appreciated if there was at least a little bit of upkeep done. Even just seeing something done would be an encouragement. I really hope that they start working on the renovations for the one dorm wing soon. I am excited at the prospect of a revamp dorm, but also a little hesitant as well. There is after all, only so much that the school will be able to do. I do trust that Prov has the students best interests in mind, and I love this school very much. I do however, want people who are thinking of coming here to not be turned off this place by the quality of the dorm that they would be required to live in.

Inevitable

2010-10-27T22:21:00.000-07:00

I'll admit it, I'm a bit of a sap for love songs. Maybe I should say ballads cause that sounds slightly better. I've been listening to Anberlin lately and I'm going to have to say that so far my favorite two songs of theirs are Inevitable, and You Belong With Me. Out of the two I'd have to say that Inevitable is the more love song sounding like one. You Belong With Me could be viewed from a Christian perspective if you believe that the song is God telling humanity that they belong with him. I do enjoy these types of songs though. I think that U2's song Electrical Storm is one of their most underrated songs, which would also fall into this relationship ballad category. Not sure why I find these types of songs so good, but I do.
I do hope to have a relationship of my own some day, of course. I've put much prayer and thought into it, and I really want to step back from my desire for it and to put it into God's hands. For so long I wanted to try and force it to happen in some way. I've made countless mistakes in the process, which has led me to believe that the best thing for me to do at this time is to not make it a priority. I was once told that I had to have things right with God before I could think about a girlfriend, and I'm starting to see the wisdom in that. My first love should be for my Lord. I have, after all, been commanded to do so. It definitely is not an easy thing to do. It could in fact be one of the hardest things I have ever tried to do. I do believe that God will lead me through it, and in the end his will is what I want to see accomplished. Whatever he plans after all, is inevitable.

Plugging along

2010-09-30T08:14:00.000-07:00

It is interesting how a place can be so familiar, yet so different. Providence still looks the same, and there are a lot of people here that I know from last year. Yet there are quite a few things that make it feel different. Obviously there are new people here in their first year at Prov. There have also been renovations going on here, so somethings do in fact look different. Of course there is an absence of people who either finished school last year, or simply decided to not come back. Personally for me, being an R.A. has brought about expected changes. Planning Care Groups for my dorm is an interesting challenge. Trying to have fresh ideas for each week is fun, with a tad bit of pressure.
Thanksgiving is coming up soon, which means that there will be quite a few people heading home for a time of fellowship with their families. Luckily for me, my family is coming here for Thanksgiving! Well at least a good portion of my family. My Dad won't be able to make it, but I do get to spend time with my Mom, Brother, Sister, and Grandma which I am really looking forward to. It's coming up quickly, and I have a feeling that the time will absolutely fly by when they are here. It will be fun though. I am really excited about it!

Remain

2010-09-19T19:25:00.001-07:00

I have neglected this blog quite well I'd say. However I think I'd like to try and squeeze a few more posts out of it before I completely forget about it. Last time I posted I was still at Camp Nutimik. I had a blast out there over the summer. It's hard to believe that it went by so fast. My current location is at Providence College, where I am continuing my studies. I'm majoring in Communications and Media, and have decided to make Youth Leadership my minor It remains to be seen whether I've made a blunder in declaring a minor so late, but if I work hard I believe that I could achieve the goal.
This is my second year at Providence, and I have the privilege and responsibility of being a Resident Assistant for the Near Janson wing. I am co-RAing with another guy because the dorm wing I was originally slated for is currently undergoing renovations. It was disappointing to not be in the dorm I thought I was going to be in, but where I am now is a pretty good place. I plan on making the best of it for this year. I do believe that God has lead me to this place. Looking back on the summer, I believe that he has been preparing me to be in this wing, rather than the one I was heading for. The most blatant example I can think of is the one week at camp where I had to be in a cabin instead of support staff. I was bummed about that because I had to be in a cabin with Jr. High kids, who are not my favorite bunch. It was an alright week, but I believe that it was preparation for this year at Prov.
Spiritually I feel more grounded as well. Camp did wonders for my spiritual growth. I just have felt much more involved with my faith since I worked at camp. It's something that I greatly desire to hang onto. I'm planning on doing Bible studies with my dorm throughout this year at Prov. I want to make sure that it's not just me who is growing.
I've also come to the decision to not be in such a rush to have certain things in my life. I wasted so much time last year pining after stuff that was out of my reach; stuff that I wasn't ready to have in my life at the time. I want to take a much more laid back approach to life this semester. Spending time with friends and just having fun instead of trying to impress people will be much less stressful I think.
If there is one thing that I wish I had this year that I don't have this year is a solid roommate. As an RA I have my own room, which I'm not complaining about. However, during my second semester, first year, I had an awesome roommate. I credit him with helping me get through the year. He did not come back this year since he was only on the one year program. It was great having somebody to talk with about all the stuff that went on.
It's a new year here at Prov and I plan on making the best of it. I really want to make my second year here superior in every way to my first year. So far, so good in that respect. There are new and old friends here, and new challenges to face. All I have to do is remember to walk with the Holy Spirit through all things. Only then will I triumph.

Summer at Camp Nutimik

2010-07-28T08:48:00.000-07:00

Wow it's been a while since I updated my blog. I also can't believe how much different I feel than when I last wrote a blog post. Since I last posted, I've finished my first year at Providence, gone home for two months, and come out to Camp Nutimik for part of the summer. There have been ups and downs for sure. The lowest part of my summer would definitely be the death of my Grandpa. I am still having trouble coming to terms with it. Even here at camp where I'm busy almost every moment, there have been times when I just start missing him. However I do know that he is with Jesus now and is much happier than he ever was on Earth.
The camp I'm working at has been pretty fun so far. Right now I'm in a cabin with Jr. High kids. Not my favorite age group but it actually hasn't been to bad. Being in a cabin for 5 weeks does get pretty tiring though. Starting to look forward to my next year at Prov as well. Signed up for classes, which was pretty exciting. All in all, I've felt much better this summer than I have in a long time. I don't feel alone like I did earlier in the year. Maybe I just realized that I'm not alone. I feel as though my faith has grown throughout the year. It's been tested, and sometimes I think I did poorly on the tests. But I don't think I can ever stop growing in my Christian faith. I don't think I really want to ever stop growing in my faith.